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What Four Foreign Cultures Taught Me About Femininity
I struggled as a woman growing up in American culture- until I traveled abroad and learned some major lessons from other women
Introduction: Beyond Honor And Shame
As a teenager, my idea of what it meant to be an American woman was shaped by Cosmopolitan magazine, Hollywood movies, Victoria’s Secret catalogues, and vague warnings from my Mom about men. There were some rites of passage, such as the school dance in 7th grade where I saw hormonal herds of boys pursuing middle school girls like prey on the Savannah; or college, where half the girls pressed up against fraternity guys in hot basements while the other half never left the library. I didn’t know how men and women should interact beyond a set of Puritanical rules that had been passed down in some garbled, inter-generational game of telephone. I was told what not to do- don’t sleep with him on the first date, don’t wear anything slutty- but I wanted something better than the honor-shame dichotomy that American women are so often judged against. I wanted to know how to relate to men in a fun, meaningful, and mutually supportive way.
As I traveled and formed relationships with men and women from different countries, I found women from every culture are in some way a reflection of that culture’s values. I learned to enjoy the…
